I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize