So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
