Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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