WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize