If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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