I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize