So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We don't watch enough power rangers
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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