I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown a few things in my day
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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