I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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