He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
