You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
