What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize