I want to have your abortion
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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