The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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