anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
