**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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