I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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