im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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