dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
