don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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