And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
