Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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