Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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