My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
