you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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