he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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