His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
