rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
