He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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