at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
