I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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