I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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