after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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