the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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