Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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