im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize