Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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