a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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