Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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