Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This is the high leading the old right now
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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