seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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