if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I need moral support for this bender
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
