And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
