I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
