White coat. Heels.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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