dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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