I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize