I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
