you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
