great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
