Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
