Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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