I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
