I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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