What did we do last night that was yellow?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
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she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
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It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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