singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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