well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
