how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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