I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize