youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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