she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
