So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
