My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize