my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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