so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
