I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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