Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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